Here's the thing, when I first put up my profile (even though I wasn't sure if I was going to actually take this online dating seriously) the first thing I did was post pictures. Why? For two reasons, 1) a picture is worth a thousand words, and 2) everything else was an essay and I hate essays (worst way to get me fill out a form: put "I'm an empty essay, fill me out" as the default text).
So, why when you are trying to sell yourself ... as date-able, get your mind out of the gutter, would you leave off the picture? Regardless, how can anyone think that looks don't matter? I know the guys are judging me on my looks. It's cool; if you don't think I'm cute, then I don't want to date you anyway :)
First things first: pictures! I raided my Facebook profile and found some recent pictures that I liked and I was off and running. I really like my FB profile picture, so I used it again as my OKC profile picture. Yeah, I'm double dipping, I don't care. Then I found another three pictures I liked from the last few months with my friends and me. Yep, I shamelessly used my friends faces in my pictures, the pictures are already on FB so it's not like I'm posting pictures they don't know exist. Plus, my friends are a big part of my life. That's who I am, why would try to hide that on my profile? Or try to "protect" them by blurring or blocking out their faces? That's just craziness. And it ruins the pictures.
About week later The Boy Next Door suggested that I add a picture of me more dressed up. So, I added a fourth picture; it also happens to be the only picture on my profile where I am wearing make-up (ssshhh, don't tell The Window Shopper). But, this is the real me. I go all kinds of places without makeup, that's who I am and I'm not trying to hide it.
Sum up: I put actual thought into the pictures I put up on my profile.
That being said, I must admit that pictures are the third thing I look at when deciding if I will message a guy. Yeah, I know everybody keeps telling me to look at the pictures first, but that's not how I roll. So, how do you get me to talk you? Here is my current process:
- The first thing I look at is your message to me; I admit that I only talk to you if you message me (remember how I'm not taking this seriously? Good :) So, first you must message me. Your message should be 1) funny, 2) intriguing, or 3) at least indicate that you have read my profile. I don't think I'm being too picky here. If you have any interest in me as a person, you should read my profile. End of story!
- I read your profile. Yes, the whole thing, even when it takes me five tries because it's so long and boring (not kidding, I've seen more interesting engineering specifications). The first thing I do is skim your info box: are you looking for the same things as me? For me this revolves mostly around if you want kids or are looking for only long-term dating - I am not ready for that, sorry we aren't compatible. This step also usually involves skimming through your personality and questions to see if there are any other deal breakers (deal breakers include: you believing birth control is morally wrong, and you thinking it's disgusting for LGBTQ couples to adopt children). Again, sorry we aren't compatible.
- Then I look at your pictures. Ah, finally we reach the point that started this whole blog. Let's dig into the pictures then. Your pictures, yes plural, should exist. Some tips on your pictures:
- If you are wearing a hat in all your pictures, I assume that you are bald. That might not be fair, but it is what happens (the The Window Shopper has mentioned this repeatedly).
- The Superman Pose, you are not The Man of Steel don't stand like him. I want to see the real you; I am showing you the real me.
- The Man in Mirror, please you must have at least one friend who can take a picture for you. I guarantee this isn't how it works.
- This is what I want to see, you and your friends doing whatever you usually do. Even it's ridiculous, in fact ridiculous is better.