(We don't know where we'll end up ... but we're all starting at single.)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The RN: Gem Star?

I have started back up with the online dating, but I'm taking it much slower this time around. For one, I don't want to spend all that time online reading crappy profiles. And for two, I think I might be getting pickier. Possibly not picky enough though.

So far I haven't responded to any messages on OKC, but I have read all my new messages. So far nothing has struck my fancy. Some guys still have super lame messages:
  • "God, you're beautiful"
    • Thanks, but what does this tell me about you?
  • "You seem fun"
    • Again, thanks, but not enough for me to check out your profile.
Also, what happened to the punctuation at the end of sentences? Even if there is only one. Also the single worst username for a dating account? "Currylingus" Just stop there: NO!

I seem to be going through an "out with the old, in with new" phase. After all the dating last fall, the only ones left are CT and a few friends with benefits. And lately CT has been getting on my nerves. Not sure how much longer that is going to last. Fortunately for him, he doesn't bother to talk to me that often so I keep forgetting I'm annoyed.

On to the new, the other day I mentioned I met a guy at a bar. That's kind of unusual for me. Both for the reasons mentioned in the blog, and well because I'm a bit shy and don't strike up conversations with strangers easily. But since The Dirty Little Secret was there to break the ice and the guys engaged us in actual conversation, starting somehow by giving us gem names.

These kind of gems.Not this kind of Jem.

So Gems (yep, that what I chose for his nick name) is getting his chance. Some people are already telling me I'm being too nice to him and I should drop him. But here's thing, it's in my nature to give second chances. I do need to work on making sure I don't feel taken advantage of or let things go to long because I'm uncomfortable "breaking up" with guys.

Gems and I have been on like .75 dates. We went on a sort of date a couple of weeks ago, but then ended up at a local bar hanging out with his friends. And then on Sunday my friend and I went to the bar he was at with his friends and we hung out for a while. Our next date had better be somewhere that his buddies aren't hanging out. I do like him and I think he's cute, maybe I just need a new guy to talk to for awhile.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The RN: Second Glances

This was originally going to be part of the last post, but that one got way too long and I had to cut it off - oh the <whatever word you're supposed to use instead of irony>.

Disclaimer: I do not have a self-esteem issue; I'm just realistic.

I'm not a first glance. Guys don't notice me from across the room. (No comments from anyone on how this might change if I wore more makeup, this means you The Window Shopper, The Dirty Little Secret, my sister, my mom, my best friend from 8th grade.) I don't usually get catcalls. I have had some ... less than ... stellar? ... things said to me:
  • "Not to be rude, you're pretty, but my ex was like beauty queen beautiful."
  • "For some reason <our friend> is attracted to [The RN]."
  • "You're cute, I guess."
  • "Are you sure you should eat that?"
  • "Hey, I'm <John>. Can you introduce me to your friend? She's really hot."
Basically, this is not me:

I'm okay with this; it's not really who am I anyway. I like to describe myself as being on the pretty side of plain. I do cute better than beautiful. This is not to say I think poorly of myself. In fact, most days I think I'm pretty awesome. But, I'm much closer to this:

This is generally where the argument starts. People think just because I don't think I'm "hot", "gorgeous", or "beautiful" I don't value myself. That's 100% not true. 

I am, however, the kind of girl who usually only gets noticed on the second glance. By this I mean, guys tend not to notice me for my looks. This is not to say they don't find me attractive; it's just not what starts the conversation. Once guys get to know me, or at least start talking to me, then they start looking a little closer and decide I'm pretty, or whatever terminology they want to use. Negative connotations aside, I do better with my personality than my looks. And really we can't all be above average in attractiveness, there has to be average looking people too.

Here's a perfect example from last weekend. The Dirty Little SecretThe Poolboy, and I were out at a local bar on Friday night. None of us were really in the mood for a long night out, but we wanted to do something besides sit around at home. Also, I had a 5K on Saturday morning so I wasn't up for too much. Nevertheless, while we were hanging out several guys hit on The Dirty Little Secret. The first guy was awful. I am still rolling my eye over his attempts. 

A little later in the night, this really drunk guy started hitting on her and his friends came over to try to save the situation (or just to keep their friend from getting thrown out). So there were like 4 or 5 guys talking to The Dirty Little Secret and me. Another one of our friends we ran into at the bar was talking to The Poolboy, so he was talking to him, but still keeping an eye out - he really is a good guy. While these guys were talking to us, one of them mentioned he was in computers. So immediately I was much  more interested in talking to him. A couple of minutes later, I asked him what kind of computers and the conversation took off from there.

This is exactly what I mean. None of these guys started by hitting on me. In fact even the guy I was talking to, and eventually went out on a date with, didn't start by talking to me. I wasn't the one drawing the attention; I rarely am. Apparently, I have more inner beauty than outer beauty - I'm a second glance girl.