The RN: Shower Talk

I recently had a conversation about showering with some friends. I know I had the same conversation about 1000 years ago with The DLS and The SD. What started the conversation was the impression when girls say they're going to rinse off, we didn't actually mean shower. We just sort of stood there in the shower and then turned it off and got out, no soap involved.

Of course, it took a little while for DLS and I to stop laughing. We then explained girls have different terms for showering based on context. If you are talking to a girl about her showering you can find clues about how she wants you to think about her.

DLS and I agreed (along with most girls I've talked to about this) you never tell a guy you're going to go "take a shower" unless you want him to think about you naked. There's probably exceptions for brothers and fathers here, but I'm not 100% on that being true all the time. My best guess as to why this happens is because showering is the term men use. They think about themselves in the shower and how good the water feels on their nakedness and then they think of you in the shower being naked. Possibly thinking of soap or shampoo dripping down your body. P.S. You're welcome for the imagery.

When I say "take a shower," this is what I assume you're thinking.

When we don't want you think about us naked, we use one of two(ish) terms to give you an idea of how long we are going to be. The first is usually "I have to wash my hair" or maybe "I need to shave my legs." These are designed to make men think about the boring, long task of washing hair; the socially acceptable blow off of "having to wash my hair"; the giant pile of bottles they know women have in their showers; and/or hairy legs. None of which are sexy, most of which make men roll their eyes. Now they're thinking of "women's beauty chores" and not your naked body, viola!

Much better, if you aren't interested, for him to think of these.

The other thing(s) we say is we're "going to go rinse off," or, I've also heard, "I'm going to run through the shower." This means we're going to wash our bodies and probably our face, but not wash our hair and not shave our legs. This is the fastest version of showering that women do. It usually takes between 5 and 10 minutes and is basically what guys do in their normal routine, minus the wiping shampoo over the top of their heads. This wording is meant to make you think we'll right back and nothing serious is happening. Apparently, it also has the side effect of making guys wonder how you shower without using soap.

Just a quick rinse.

I definitely like to use soap in my showers. I don't think I'm up for trying any of this no soap stuff. I must admit to being a little intrigued about this whole body regulation theory though.

The RN: The Hair of the Leg

Lately, I seem to keep hearing the same question about leg shaving: the whole thing or just below the knee? I've heard it on the radio, I've seen it on Facebook, there are countless articles and blogs about it.

Just a bit of difference there. Photo Credit

So, when my mom (hi, mom) taught me to shave my legs, she taught me to shave only below the knee. I think I was like 11 or 12 at the time. I quickly realized I have very light blonde hair on my legs and shaving took more time than I wanted to spend on something when you couldn't really tell the difference. Even now, some 20+ years later, you can't really see my leg hair when I get lazy and don't shave. It's more obvious now than it was when I was younger since I spend less time in the sun so it's not quite as light.

Then life happened. I must have been about 16 at the time. My high-school boyfriend and I were discussing leg shaving. My point was, "No one can see it, why should I spend the time?" We weren't very ... physical yet, so it wasn't really a big thing (what part of late bloomer didn't you pick up on?). One of our other friends overheard our conversation and chimed in with, "Oh, I always thought girls shaved their legs because it felt nicer when guys were running their hands up them." Wait. What? This is what I get for being friends with football players.

But, I actually think this sums up the whole discussion quite nicely. In general, the hair above the knee is much lighter than the hair below the knee. So, girls who shave only below the knee are shaving for appearances. They shave so people don't see their leg hair. While girls who shave their entire legs, generally shave for the feel. They shave so people don't feel their leg hair.

I guess it's a preference for if you care about how people see you or how people feel you ... up.

The RN: I'm Engaged!

I met the most fantastic guy and we've had a fast and hot romance. Last night he asked me to marry him and I said yes!

What a pretty ring. Photo Credit

...

...

...

...

...

HAHAHAHA! Did you really fall for that?!?

Photo Credit

The RN: Compliments?

Somewhat recently I had someone tell me essentially he didn't really like spending time with me, but he really wanted to fuck me. First of all, how is this acceptable to say someone? What did it sound like in his head, that he thought he should actually say this outloud to anyone?

Is this actually how we're talking these days?

The truly unfortunate part of this whole thing is I think he truly thought he was paying me a compliment. This whole a woman is only worth her fuckability is really starting to get old.

Maybe I just need to meet and get know more guys who are better people.

The RN: Turning Over a New Leaf

I don't really have anything to say. Well, that's not exactly true I think I've written half of at least 3 more blogs, but none of them are close to being finished. And none of them seems like the right thing to say going into the New Year.

As some of you may recall, I didn't have the best New Year's last year. I am actively working to be happier about New Year's this year. I have worked to spend less time with people who don't respect my boundaries and for the most part it's working. I'm way less stressed than I used to be and in general everything is working out better.

So, for the first time in a while, I have no angry rant today. I know, I know, that's not as entertaining, but it's still healthier for me. I'm turning over a new leaf with 2016. I'm letting go of my anger and not letting things sit there and simmer.

I'll just leave you with this:

Happy 2016!

The RN: Calendar Worthy

So, I was super excited to see this new calendar was coming out. Historically this calendar was full of "hot naked chicks" and had been for decades. Next year the calendar will be full of successful women. Regardless of their size, shape, or age. I was excited to see a long tradition of objectifying women* turning into respecting women. Here's the picture of Amy Schumer:

Pretty awesome in my book.
Photo Credit

Then I ran across some jackhole who just had to turn into something stupid. I don't even want to read the original article, this commentary is enough to make me mad.

I don't understand why men like this think my worth as a woman, as a person, has anything to do with whether my picture makes his dick hard. Or why he thinks I care whether my picture makes his dick hard.

*Yes, reducing women to sex objects for viewing pleasure (by either men or women) is objectifying them. No, that doesn't mean I'm against pin up calendars or porn.

The RN: For the Love of Hoodies

I am clearly not ready to date again. For the first time in a long time, this weekend I found myself wishing I had a boyfriend. Not because I wanted the companionship. Not because I wanted the intimacy. Not even because I wanted the sex.

Doesn't have to be blue.

No, it was because I wanted to steal a hoodie or two from someone. I had to settle with borrowing my brother-in-law's hoodie for the day. No where near as awesome as "accidentally" putting his hoodie in your drawer.