(We don't know where we'll end up ... but we're all starting at single.)

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The RN: Shower Talk

I recently had a conversation about showering with some friends. I know I had the same conversation about 1000 years ago with The DLS and The SD. What started the conversation was the impression when girls say they're going to rinse off, we didn't actually mean shower. We just sort of stood there in the shower and then turned it off and got out, no soap involved.

Of course, it took a little while for DLS and I to stop laughing. We then explained girls have different terms for showering based on context. If you are talking to a girl about her showering you can find clues about how she wants you to think about her.

DLS and I agreed (along with most girls I've talked to about this) you never tell a guy you're going to go "take a shower" unless you want him to think about you naked. There's probably exceptions for brothers and fathers here, but I'm not 100% on that being true all the time. My best guess as to why this happens is because showering is the term men use. They think about themselves in the shower and how good the water feels on their nakedness and then they think of you in the shower being naked. Possibly thinking of soap or shampoo dripping down your body. P.S. You're welcome for the imagery.

When I say "take a shower," this is what I assume you're thinking.

When we don't want you think about us naked, we use one of two(ish) terms to give you an idea of how long we are going to be. The first is usually "I have to wash my hair" or maybe "I need to shave my legs." These are designed to make men think about the boring, long task of washing hair; the socially acceptable blow off of "having to wash my hair"; the giant pile of bottles they know women have in their showers; and/or hairy legs. None of which are sexy, most of which make men roll their eyes. Now they're thinking of "women's beauty chores" and not your naked body, viola!

Much better, if you aren't interested, for him to think of these.

The other thing(s) we say is we're "going to go rinse off," or, I've also heard, "I'm going to run through the shower." This means we're going to wash our bodies and probably our face, but not wash our hair and not shave our legs. This is the fastest version of showering that women do. It usually takes between 5 and 10 minutes and is basically what guys do in their normal routine, minus the wiping shampoo over the top of their heads. This wording is meant to make you think we'll right back and nothing serious is happening. Apparently, it also has the side effect of making guys wonder how you shower without using soap.

Just a quick rinse.

I definitely like to use soap in my showers. I don't think I'm up for trying any of this no soap stuff. I must admit to being a little intrigued about this whole body regulation theory though.

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