The RN: Compliments?

Somewhat recently I had someone tell me essentially he didn't really like spending time with me, but he really wanted to fuck me. First of all, how is this acceptable to say someone? What did it sound like in his head, that he thought he should actually say this outloud to anyone?

Is this actually how we're talking these days?

The truly unfortunate part of this whole thing is I think he truly thought he was paying me a compliment. This whole a woman is only worth her fuckability is really starting to get old.

Maybe I just need to meet and get know more guys who are better people.

The RN: Turning Over a New Leaf

I don't really have anything to say. Well, that's not exactly true I think I've written half of at least 3 more blogs, but none of them are close to being finished. And none of them seems like the right thing to say going into the New Year.

As some of you may recall, I didn't have the best New Year's last year. I am actively working to be happier about New Year's this year. I have worked to spend less time with people who don't respect my boundaries and for the most part it's working. I'm way less stressed than I used to be and in general everything is working out better.

So, for the first time in a while, I have no angry rant today. I know, I know, that's not as entertaining, but it's still healthier for me. I'm turning over a new leaf with 2016. I'm letting go of my anger and not letting things sit there and simmer.

I'll just leave you with this:

Happy 2016!

The RN: Calendar Worthy

So, I was super excited to see this new calendar was coming out. Historically this calendar was full of "hot naked chicks" and had been for decades. Next year the calendar will be full of successful women. Regardless of their size, shape, or age. I was excited to see a long tradition of objectifying women* turning into respecting women. Here's the picture of Amy Schumer:

Pretty awesome in my book.
Photo Credit

Then I ran across some jackhole who just had to turn into something stupid. I don't even want to read the original article, this commentary is enough to make me mad.

I don't understand why men like this think my worth as a woman, as a person, has anything to do with whether my picture makes his dick hard. Or why he thinks I care whether my picture makes his dick hard.

*Yes, reducing women to sex objects for viewing pleasure (by either men or women) is objectifying them. No, that doesn't mean I'm against pin up calendars or porn.

The RN: For the Love of Hoodies

I am clearly not ready to date again. For the first time in a long time, this weekend I found myself wishing I had a boyfriend. Not because I wanted the companionship. Not because I wanted the intimacy. Not even because I wanted the sex.

Doesn't have to be blue.

No, it was because I wanted to steal a hoodie or two from someone. I had to settle with borrowing my brother-in-law's hoodie for the day. No where near as awesome as "accidentally" putting his hoodie in your drawer.

The RN: Knocking Over Pillars and Pedestals

I got a little busy (lazy?) and didn't write a blog in August :(

I decided to take a break in August and mostly didn't do anything. And it was still an exhausting month. I did realize something. I finally felt like I got to relax. I hadn't realized how much pressure I (my friends?) were putting on me to be a certain way. I don't want to be a moral pillar. I don't want to be on a pedestal. I want to be fallible and make less then stellar choices. For that to be okay. To not be the voice of reason or to not be the a sounding board for whether something is okay.

It's not my job to be your Jiminy Cricket.

My month off has shown me I need to do more for myself. But what I need to do is not about so much how I interact with others, but how I interact with myself. I need to remember saying no and not going out with friends is sometimes more fun and just what I need.

The RN: Moist Panty Lines

**Warning: This blog may offend many/most/all readers.**

So I'm pretty sure 45% of the population hates this title. And at least 95% of those who don't hate it are guys. I have seen a bunch of articles lately talk about girls hating certain words. Some people have even done research on the topic. Okay, so maybe BroBible isn't the most scientific of sites, but still. The point is for the most part people are confused about why girls (and maybe some guys) hate words.

Words like: moist, panties, cunt.

Please tell me you've heard of The Oatmeal!

Or really anything from Victoria's Secret.

Yeah, I went there.

What's the first thing you think about when I say, "moist panties?" I'm going to take a not-so-wild guess and say a girl ready for someone to strip her naked and fuck her. And that's why girls hate those words, being sexualized on regular basis is exhausting. I've mentioned before how we are taught it's our job to say no, because there's this ridiculous idea floating around global society that men can't control themselves and therefore women are to blame for turning them on. Any claims about it being the sounds of words are silly, no one cares if you say hoist or aunties.

There's this inherit idea in society right now that women are sexual at all times and men are not. Case in point, it's actually working for women to paste male nipple over female nipples in pictures to keep from being "indecent". Nipples are not that different between males and females. It's absolutely crazy this is working. Female dress codes meant to cover the body so no one thinks of sex when they see it are another example. Somehow boobs are dangerous, but men walk around without shirts all the time and it's no big deal.

Nobody, men or women, is comfortable talking about what it really means to be a woman. Certain topics make people uncomfortable. Like periods, no one want to talk about periods or really even acknowledge they exist. Well except for tampon and pad commercials and even then they use blue water to show how they work. Seriously, blue water, like that's anything close what those products are designed to handle. How does blue water tell me anything about how well it's going to catch a giant clot of blood trying its best to ooze its way down my leg?

Some places are even censoring periods, like they're indecent somehow. Well I mean they are terrible to deal with and generally unpleasant. And I'm even talking about bleeding all over the place. Or overwhelming your "feminine product" (like terminology will make it safer) and leaking while still cleaning up from the last spill. Yes that happens, more often than you probably think. I'm talking about stuff like rinsing the shampoo out of your hair and getting the hair that fell out sliding down your back into your butt crack and getting tangled up with your tampon string. And then trying to get the hair untangled without pulling your tampon out, because you don't trust your body not to start spewing blood again while your dashing from the shower to the toilet to put a new one in. What? Just me on that one?

I'm talking about every 13 year-old girl knowing you soak blood in cold water because hot water will set the stain. But still having wives tell their 35 year-old husband to use cold water because they have no idea if their husband actually knows not to use hot water. Because why would a man have any idea how to get blood out of things? He doesn't have a period to deal with every month. I'm talking about sisters and friends sharing period stories about clots and blood trails with each other without blinking an eye and still not being able to broach the topic with their husbands or boyfriends because it's icky girl stuff.

I'm talking about your male roommate thinking you put a box of tampons in the downstairs bathroom so guests wouldn't have to be embarrassed by asking instead of so you didn't have to run upstairs without bleeding all over the place every time you started to feel a leak. I'm talking about feeling like you have to hide your tampon after digging it out of the secret hiding place in your desk while you walk to bathroom because God Forbid one of your male coworkers sees it and realizes you are a person and not a sex object. I'm talking about jokes like, "I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die."

I'm talking about cunt, a term for vaginas, being generally considered the most offensive word in the English language.

The RN: For Love or Lust

I realized something the other week. I finally realized why I got mad at all those guys and cut everyone off. Why I cut myself off. Why I have been on break for so long; not that the break is exactly over. It's pretty simple really; I'm kind of surprised just how long it took me to realize.

I may want to be touched, but I don't want to be used. I no longer want to be someone you call when you want to get your dick wet. Sure, it was fun at the time I was doing it, but now I want something different. I definitely went through a phase where I needed to rebuild my confidence in my ... sexiness, I guess. I wanted to be lusted after. I wanted to be the one guys wanted to sleep with. I wanted to be wanted. Even if it was only for the night.

But that's not who I am any more. I am in a different place. A healthier place? Maybe, but different to be sure. Here's the rub though, I'm not sure I'm ready to start dating. I wouldn't mind going out on a date here and there, but I don't think I'm ready for the kind of serious dating it would take to get to the kind of touching I want. I still have concerns about how well I would handle being in even a semi-serious relationship.

I want something someone new in my life. Someone who cares for me. Like, actually cares, not just looking for some fun. But, I'm also terrified of getting there.