(We don't know where we'll end up ... but we're all starting at single.)

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Once More Unto the Breach

I've been going on a crapload of dates lately. At one point, I went out with 5 different women over an 8-day period.  I don't recommend dating at that clip unless you enjoy spending 50-75 bucks a pop, over and over again, without knowing if it will lead to anything significant. My new rule is if there's no discernible physical and psychological progress after five dates (or if the progress is not mutual), I'm moving on.

(TDLS and I have discussed this, but I still disagree with her: Some women claim that the amount of money they spend on hair and makeup is worth getting taken out all the time.  Unless they are getting their weaves tightened for $800 to $1200 every month, I refuse to believe that.  And gym memberships don't count: you think guys don't have those?  Everyone should (in theory) care about their own personal fitness beyond making themselves attractive to potential or current mates.  But this is a subject for a later post.)

Anyway, most of the first dates were solid.  All but one of them resulted in multiple dates.  One of them was an offline date with someone I'd been seeing for a while that obviously wasn't going anywhere.  Since I started, all but one has fallen by the wayside. Now I'm in that interesting phase where I wonder whether or not I should continue to pursue new first dates, or just roll with the one remaining woman (who I really am fond of so far).  

I err on the side of soldiering forward and meeting new people.  Yeah, I know -- when it comes down to it, dating multiple people multiple times is a pain in the ass.  You have to remember which stories you told to which people, and who does what for a living.  If you're already a busy person (and I am), it's a lot to juggle, a lot to remember, and (potentially) a lot to spend.  But I still recommend doing it for one reason: it makes rejection much easier to swallow.  When one person tells you they aren't interested, it's a lot easier to take when you've got another date lined up in a couple of days.  When one person you've gone out with seems to be a poor fit, it's much less disappointing when another second date is on the horizon.  Many women don't realize that guys hate rejection, even though most of us are far more accustomed to romantic rejection than they are.  

I joined this blog to share interesting stories, but I also wanted motivation to get off my butt and start refocusing on dating.  Not because I've been a total slacker in that department, but I could feel myself getting complacent over the past few months by settling for sporadic passive dating. Online dating isn't amazing, but it's certainly better than not dating at all.  And knowing that my blogmates are in it with me makes it a lot easier. 

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