So, back in August I met a guy ... kind of. He doesn't live in the same state (something like a 6-7 hour drive) and he left on a wander-about-Asia-for-however-many-months trip at the beginning of November. But thing is when he was visiting other people near me, we went on a couple of really great dates.
He was nice. He was polite. He didn't treat me like an object. He was a perfect gentleman. It has been so long since I went on a date like that. We went on two dates like that and it was pretty awesome. I am definitely smitten, but, realistically, I don't know this has any chance.
But it sure was nice to be treated with such respect. And I think it started a small change in me. Last week for the first time in I can't even remember how long, I wanted to be in a relationship. To be fair it only lasted for a about 5 minutes, but the thought of having someone I could just lay in bed with and be lazy with sounded really great there for a few minutes.
I am still scared. I still don't know what I want. I still get exasperated in dealing with the guys I meet. But for the first time in a long time, I have a seed of hope. Someday, maybe I won't be single.