So, getting started on my list of why we are picky is this: guilt sucks, if we are going to accept the guilt from having said yes when we could have said no, you had better be worth it.
When I get to place where I'm legitimately thinking about fucking you, one of the first things going through my head is "is this gonna be worth it?" To be fair, by this point I already know I'm attracted to you or I wouldn't be thinking about fucking you. Next on the list is, in an almost unconscious or not completely aware way, how will I be judged if I do this? What will my friends, your friends, society think if I do this? This happens most times I have sex. Yes, this is a big part of choosing a new partner, but it also happens when I'm with someone I have already had sex with. Pause ... contemplate ... I am thinking about whether I'm going to be judged even if we've already slept together. Why would I worry about it? Because:
Don't let societies' ideal put pressure on me? Fuck. You. When was the last time you had to deal with conflicting pressures about how to live your life? Did you worry about fitting in? Oh, you did? Of course you fucking did! Because we are social creatures by nature and no matter how rebellious we may be, society still matters to us.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, why women are picky about sex. The next topic on my list is: women face more possible consequences from sex.
First, many STDs (I am child of the 90s and refuse to use STI; it's the same damn thing!) affect women more than men. What, I'm crying wolf? Fine. Don't take my word for it:
- "Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in the U.S., especially among women, who disproportionately bear the long-term consequences of STDs." - The CDC
- "[STDs] impact men and women differently, and in women, can lead to long-term problems like infertility." - Jamaica Observer
- "A woman’s internal anatomy creates a virtual breeding ground for infection, as bacteria can become lodged more deeply in the body and breed more easily in a wet environment." - Get RI
- If that's not enough, Google it.
|I do not want to deal with this.
via Show and Tell
Last topic, for this blog, on my list: sex is an invasion, literally.
When we have sex, your body invades my body. Stop for just a second and think about an erect penis. Yours, your friend's, your boyfriend's, your friend's boyfriend's, your husband's, a porn star's, anybody's, or a baby holding an apple. Now think about something that size rooting around in your organs.... Something you don't have control over.... Something under someone else's control.... Something someone stronger than you controls.... Someone stronger than you controlling a foreign object rooting around your internal organs. It's a wonder women agree to have sex at all.
None of this to say women don't enjoy sex, but it's about a lot more than satisfying our hormones in the moment. Also, hello? have you read the rest of this blog? I love having sex, but not so much that I will sacrifice myself or my morals for it.